Shopping now kind of .... sucks

After a long day at work or at home, one of my joys and rewards to myself (for not strangling my child or my students) was going shopping.  Without a list or any particular need or reason why I am there, I just enjoy strolling up and down the aisles of handbags, shoes, jeans, tops, cookwear, blankets, and toys.  I stay there for hours. John knows that when I go shopping, not to worry, because I am safe and sound in the store.

After the major purge I went through this year, I still get the urge to shop.  I still indulge in the wandering and aimless strolling through the various departments.  I still really enjoy it because I am a visual person who gets stimulated by color and texture and designs on jackets and buckles and jewelry.  I get my fix looking at the stuff. I also get tempted to bring home lots of stuff....Hey, it's on "sale," right?  But before I get to the register, I remember that the items in my hands look eerily similar to the items I donated recently. Didn't I just donate something like this (fill in the blank) recently?

That's when I turn around and put the items back.  Don't get me wrong, I still want the stuff.  I still desire the new and bling-y thing I just found.   But the voice in my head reminds me that I don't need that new thing, and that I have just unburdened my home of some stuff that looks A LOT like the stuff I'm about  to buy. 

This has kind of, sort of taken that shopping-induced-temporary-high AWAY.  I find it ironic that letting go of a lot of my belongings would cause this other part of my behavior to change as well.  Reducing my stuff caused me to avoid buying MORE stuff.  What a strange consequence!  I would expect the opposite to happen.  I would expect to be tempted to buy more as a result of feeling deprived or sad to have given stuff away.  But I don't feel deprived or sad.  In fact, I feel light and free and cheerful when I see the space that opened up from removing items from our home. 

Now the biggest shopping season is here. I'm sure I will be tempted to buy a gift for me while shopping for friends and family.  But if this new phenomenon continues, and I may end up avoiding the department stores all together.  I hope my family will like the gift cards or cash they get instead.  We'll see.